Too many cars in Brussels? Solutions are being found

Brussels has probably one of the densest traffic in Europe, due to its central position in the country (not only geographically) and the number of European/international organisations having their headquarters there. However, actions are taken to promote a more bike- and pedestrian-friendly lifestyle.

New Brussels Capital's logo: yellow love heart on a blue plant

Decent public transports
As it is pretty difficult to find a park place, many inhabitants and workers leave their car at home and favour the city's efficient public transport service.

Wherever you are, you can use GoogleMaps to calculate your journey using buses, trams and the metro. Note however that the website/app is not as efficient in other parts of the country, especially the Walloon region (rather check that website).

On the official app of STIB/MIVB, the regional public transports in Brussels, you can get to know (almost) exactly at which station each bus/tram/metro is, avoiding awkward situations where you find yourself waiting ages for nothing.

Bicycling in the capital
As explained in a former article, bicycles are widely used in the Northern part of the country and it is part of the more healthy and eco-friendly lifestyle.

In Wallonia, bike lanes are being built but there is still a long (bike) way to cross before it gets into the local culture, as riding my bike to work, It is often perceived as an activity for people who are "really" into sports and bikes, or for liberals/alter/hipsters...

In Brussels, the trend to use a bike to work is starting to grow, because it is such a small territory and the public transports are not that cheap. In addition, the city recently introduced a new public transport service called Villo! (a mixture of the French words for "city" and "bike"), taking the example of Vélib in France.

For little expenses, you can automatically rent a bike from a bike station for a certain amount of time. Once you've arrived to your destination, you have to find the closest station to park it. It can be found using this map. Any bike found abandoned somewhere are being checked and the person renting it is contacted by phone.

No car allowed for a day
Yesterday was the annual car-free day in Brussels. A deliciously strange feeling of freedom took over the city and almost no car could be seen in the streets, even the biggest boulevards. The only exceptions were taxis, buses and people who had a special authorisation. As a result, Brussels was full of bikes and looked like a giant playground.

Opening the boulevard
In a less temporary way, the city of Brussels recently opened an entire area in the centre to pedestrians. What used to be a large boulevard with dense traffic became a place of leisure as seats, ping-pong tables and other items are now at the disposal of everyone.

Brussels' messed up identity

No language census has been made in Belgium for around a century, but it is commonly accepted that 20% of Brussels population is made of Dutch speakers and 80% of French speakers (which do not consider themselves as Walloons by the way!) and people can vote for whoever they want at the elections, Flemish or Francophones.

Yet, in 2014, more than 93% of people from Brussels registered themselves as Francophones for the fiscal year, and around the same number is found for pension requests (source: Belga).

French being a more international language due to former colonies around the world, immigration is a factor of "Frenchifying" the territory, in addition to Walloon immigration.

If you happen to live in Brussels, you will probably hear a lot more of Arabic (there is a huge community of people from Maghreb in the capital), Turkish, Spanish, Romanian... and of course English! As for Dutch speakers, they are a few here and there, who usually speak French fluently, so they probably don't think it's that much of a trouble to pick it up officially in administration...

But Brussels culture seems to be based a lot on Flemish culture. For example, last week, Ommegang, which is Dutch means "walking around", was celebrated with a parade in the centre of Brussels. It tells the story of a Virgin Mary statue carried from Antwerp to Brussels and a series of miraculous events associated to it. For the record, it is always funny to see people dressed as Middle Ages knights who have issue getting into a kebab bars with their swords after the parade!

Ommegang in Brussels, just walking around...

In Brussels, people still like to use Flemish-dialect words as a joke (zinneke, skieve, amai, etc.) but largely speak French and are used to meeting French friends (one hour and a half and you're in Paris). Recently, the commemoration of the battle of Waterloo (which is close to Brussels) was a big event largely covered on TV with reconstitutions as well.

If I could define what it means to be from Brussels (but I can't) I'd say that it is having a double culture and double roots. Brussels picked up French, the language of prestige for a few centuries, before realising that its Germanic roots were important too and that the Dutch-speaking minority should be protected.

People in Brussels know what it means to live in a multicultural and multilingual environment and they're almost blasé of it, by contrast with Walloons, who lift their eyebrows when they hear someone speak English in the street! They know what it means to be in a city by which important people pass and take decisions, and where buying a meal can be expensive. That's what makes them so special, I guess.

Last week to visit the Royal Greenhouse!

It only opens every year for three weeks in spring, it's in the Northern part of Brussels (Laeken) and... it's almost over! Nice and cheap activity, but pick the most suitable time for it.

There are four days left (5th, 6th, 7th and 8th May) on which you can visit the Royal Greenhouse of Laeken from 9:30am to 4:00pm. On the last day, it also opens from 8pm to 10pm. It is pretty cheap: only €2.50 per person; it's even free if you're younger than 18.

Situated next to the Royal Castle of Laeken (pronounced "Lah-kun") and some other architectural monuments like the Japanese Tower, this huge heaven on earth is located in Avenue du Parc Royal, 1020 Bruxelles, so it takes around 35-40 min from Central Station with buses and trams (and a bit less from North Station). Follow the signs and find the big fence where the entrance is. You really ought to come by during the week and/or early in the morning, because you may have to queue for a long time at the entrance otherwise.

The place has a collection of plants from different countries under Leopold II (1835-1909) as sorts of keepsakes from our colonial past. The few beautiful greenhouses are surrounded by vast gardens with ponds and some Asian trees. You may just picture yourself as a little prince(ss) playing around in the area and having a daydream and you completely forget that you're in Brussels.

The smell of flowers surrounds you everywhere (if you are allergic, take your medicine!)... You will admire the magnificent structure of the different greenhouses from a different century, as well as the different shapes of the royal plants, which come from the Philippines, India, Australia, and other remote places, and vary from incredibly esthetic to really quirky, animal-like or carnivore. Some are rarity and may not be found anywhere else than there!

Cameras are authorised, so take your best one. But also take your time to enjoy everything with your own eyes! I would say that it is good for any age, so bringing your kids with you is a good idea (but tell them that touching the plants is forbidden!).

In a strange hobbit-like house, you can see former Belgian queen Elizabeth's sculpture workshop. And next to the greenhouse's exit door, you can eat a "couque/koek" (Belgian word for a brioche-like cake) and drink some coffee in an actual greenhouse (without the plants though) with a splendid view on the garden.

If I could point out one negative side of the activity, I'd say that, because the greenhouse is only available for such a short period every year, it becomes full of people. You can't really walk around freely from a greenhouse to another and you have to follow the crowd if you don't want to lose your friends and/or family. Sometimes you have to wait 10 minutes before being able to get into the next greenhouse because some are not that big.

Listen to Belgian accents and dialects!

"Nonante", "septante"... these are some famous Belgicisms that foreigners learn when they visit the country to speak French. But the difference is also in the accent, or the accents even, because depending on the region you come from, you might get one of the specific local accents. Check out a recent YouTube video to listen to samples of people speaking French in various Belgian accents. Another video will show you the variety of local dialects and languages of Wallonia!

Ten examples of Belgian accents in French

1) Flemish accent (okay the speaker's accent is very slight!)
2) Brussels accent (actually an exagerated drunk version of it!)
3) Brussels-Walloon accent, a sort of "norm" in Francophone Belgium
4) Belgian Picard accent (similar to a Northern French accent)
5) Charleroi accent
6) Namur accent
7) Liège accent (very particular tone)
8) Verviers accent (the one where nasal vowels are not nasal, actually this accent is also heard in Liège)
9) Belgian German-speaker accent

This list is non-exhaustive, because there are as many accents and gradations of them as there are cities and social classes in Belgium (e.g. there is a posh Brussels-Brabant accent!).

Ten languages/dialects spoken in the Walloon region

 

Romance languages:

1) Eastern Walloon dialect (Liège)

2) Central Walloon dialect (Namur)

3) Walloon-Picard (West): a transition with the neighbouring Picard dialects
4) Walloon-Lorrain (South): also a transition, but with Lorrain this time
5) Lorrain (Gaume): this Lorrain dialect is spoken in the extreme South of Belgium
6) Picard: very similar to Picard or Ch'ti spoken in France
7) Champenois: a very small area in the South-West speaks a dialect similar to that in Champagne

Germanic languages:
1) Moselle Franconian (or Luxembourgish)
2) Ripuarian (similar to what is spoken in Cologne)
3) Platdiets or Limburgish-Ripuarian (a dialect with mixed German-Dutch influences)

Music from Wallonia-Brussels underrated in Flanders

K's Choice, Hooverphonic, Selah Sue, The Magician, Netsky, dEUS... A lot of Flemish bands and solo artists have gotten very popular in the whole country and even internationally. On the other side of the language border, a lot of nice bands have been playing too, but some of them have recently complained about their weak representation in the Belgian media and their lack of budget... Apparently, it is less easy to get famous and advertised in Flanders when you're a French speaker, even when you sing in English. Let's examine the situation and give you some nice music videos of the French-speaking community!

The truth is, singers and groups from Wallonia and Brussels find it particularly difficult to establish themselves in Flanders, especially if they sing in French. Some share the exact same label as Flemish bands who sing in English and are famous in the whole country, but their success is much weaker. It's a pity, because a bunch of them could benefit from being a little more famous, like Great Mountain Fire.

Great Mountain Fire - Late Lights

The problem is that if you want to get famous in your whole country, you first need to be famous in your own community... And here the problem comes from customers and radio listeners. Artists have noticed that the French-speaking public wasn't as curious as the Flemish one could be, probably because the latter is more influenced by a more diversified Anglo-Saxon culture. Walloons would rather listen to famous French or international artists than their own ones, which have a smaller budget. This explains why originally "indie rock" radio PureFM has now turned into mainly a mainstream broadcaster, favouring Pharrell Williams over Soldout, for instance, an electro-rock band from Brussels.

Soldout - 94

By contrast, Flemish people have a certain degree of pride for their own culture and they feel that they need to protect it. As a consequence, Flemish artists are more often considered as celebrities in Flanders than Walloon artists in Wallonia. French-speaking bands usually need to be really good on stage to rely on the word-of-mouth process to get famous, rather than the national media. That kind of thing happens with bands such as the fancy rockers from Piano Club.

Piano Club - Love Hurts

A lot of bands have already toured in Wallonia and France with a lot of venues, probably because their cultures are closer. But it's in vain that they try to be famous in Flanders. Some have been into business for some time now and most of them actually sing in English. However, they still suffer from being French speakers when they tour in Flanders, as they get smaller crowds and venues. People might say it is because they still have a French accent and their lyrics are so-so, and it might be an obstacle for an intercommunity success indeed. This doesn't seem to be the case for a band like BRNS (from Brussels - it's pronounced "brains"), which has been recently building its success in English.

BRNS - Mexico 

Some Walloon/Brussels bands only sing in French, perhaps because it's what they can do best. Examples include Eté 67, which was more famous in the 2000s, or more recently Suarez, who has become very popular in the French community (the singer is in the jury of The Voice Belgium, French version), with its musicians from Madagascar. Yet, these bands are not famous at all in Flanders, which is strange, because, as said in that blog post, Flemish singers who sing in French while it's not their mother tongue (Axelle Red, dEUS, Vive la Fête, Arno...) are praised in the whole country!...

Suarez - Qu'est-ce que j'aime ça

Is there a particular resentment from Flanders towards French-speaking Belgian artists? In general, there is very little room for these in the playlists of famous Flemish radios like Studio Brussel, which rather prefers international and Flemish artists. In fact, the only way to get famous in Flanders is to find fame in some other non-French-speaking countries and to come back here with a nice reputation. See the case of Stromae, a French-speaking singer that Flemish people seem to love, as well as the rest of Europe. And he only sings in French...

Have you heard of any other artist from Wallonia or Brussels? Don't be afraid to share them in a comment!

How Brussels welcomes superstars

These days, the capital of Belgium hosted two mighty and powerful men: US president Barack Obama and Chinese president Xi Jinping. Both were welcomed by a smiling royal family and shy Prime Minister Elio di Rupo.

From my point of view, Obama's visit into my small country looked very odd, because he usually appears in a huge lecture halls full of English speakers who identify themselves as whether Democrats or Republicans. Here, none of those... He simply spoke in BOZAR building, an artsy place for people who can't spell the word "Beaux-Arts" (Fine Arts). The place was full of... young multicoloured-faced people (Hey! you don't have to be coloured to listen to Obama). The big organ behind him made him look like a priest, but what a priest (I haven't heard any preach on gay-friendliness so far). Finally, the first words that came to his mouth were "chocolate and beer"... Oh dear, he forgot about fries and waffles! He probably doesn't like them, zeg oh zeg.

Then they all got to a Flanders Field Cemetery and Obama called our country "brave little Belgium". How well formulated, almost a tongue-twister! The Flemish media rather focused on the two other speakers. Prince... erm King Philip, who studied in English, but whose accent sounded quite "Flemish" to me(!) talked about "the horrors of the trench warfare", but Flemish media heard "the horrors of the French warfare". It doesn't matter, we love France. Then later on, PM Elio di Rupo gave it a try too... although he stuttered at some point, it was a nice try, but he's surely progressing quicklier in Flemish, which he speaks in his original Italian accent!

On Sunday, the next person who visited Belgium was Chinese president Xi Jinping. For the record, "xi" is NOT pronounced "ksi", but something like "she" (although he's surely a he!). For his first day of stay, he visited a zoo called "Pairi Daiza"... by the way, why did they change the easy, more accessible, Spanish-sounding "Paradisio" for an old Persian (Vedic? Avestic? Whatever!) name that only the best orientalist/protoindoeuropeanist would get? Why?...

Anyway, the goal was to inaugurate a pavilion specially dedicated to an OTPP, i.e. "One True Pair of Pandas", imported from Beijing and graciously provided by Xi Jinping's country... These two guys are also superstars in Belgium, as we've heard of them the whole month along. They're so famous that even Bart de Wever appeared on a TV-show dressed as a panda and made the audience laugh, although the mixture of politics and entertainment wasn't approved by everyone (also because the guy is pretty much anti-Walloon).

The next big event in Brussels this week will be the EU-AU (i.e. African Union) summit. So far so good... Except some people are not very happy with the way traffic is disrupted... For example, a whole metro line was stopped even the day before Obama arrived in Belgium...  Also, they're not that happy with all the money spent on all those big events, but that's another story...

 
Tell us what you think of Barack, Elio, Philip, Jinping or Bart de Panda! And share the post to your friends!

First Flemish TV-show entirely in English

Today I came across a TV-show that really reflects Flemish pride and proficiency in English. The project I'm going to talk about is quite similar to this blog, but it only focuses on Flanders, rather than the whole country.

In September 2012, the Flemish public broadcaster VRT decided to create a TV-show intended for expats in Flanders. Being aware that not that many expats could speak Dutch, they created for the first time in history a TV-show entirely in English (with subtitles in both Dutch and English).

Fans of Flanders is a weekly programme with presenters who all speak an excellent English. The goal is to make people (expats or Belgian people themselves) learn more about Flanders and the most quirky things going on in there. The show focuses on Flanders but also includes Brussels, although the city has a majority of French speakers, because it is often the place expats choose to settle in and probably also because the VRT premises are located in Brussels. The French-speaking community is left out for once.

The programme mainly describes how quirky Flemish people can be, but also tells you about interesting places to visit and provides interviews of expats on what they think of Flanders (in the sequence 'Expat of the week'). All of this is made with a lot of (Flemish!) humour and may also depict the weirdest sides of the region (e.g. the irrationality of the garbage bag system). Also, typical Flemish expressions and words are presented by a journalist.

Actually, Fans of Flanders is primarily a website with 'funny' videos and all the content is first published on the internet before being broadcasted as a full-shaped TV-show. The VRT makes use of social networks, polls and blogs a lot. As a less recent project, the same broadcaster launched a Flemish online magazine all in English called Flandersnews.be.

Hopefully one day the French-speaking community will do the same... or the same will be done to introduce the whole country to the world...

Spread the word!

French-speakers dismiss their local cinema

A rough but moving humour, surrealism and royalty, those are some features that probably build Belgian culture and may be reflected in the national cinema. Yet, if you don't know about it, you will have a hard time trying to find common features between all films produced in this country. This intricacy is due to a cultural difference between Flemish and French-speakers, once again! In fact, each linguistic community's vision of itself is reflected on how they make and watch films.

Flemish people tend to watch less often Dutch channels, favouring their own Flemish ones, which promote local films and make them proud of their community. An example of the way Flemish film-makers tell the world about their own history is 1992 film Daens, which deals with the misery side of Flanders during industrialisation time and the hand given by local bishop Daens, who created the Christian Socialist party.

Also, Flemish film-makers try to make films that can be easily exported. As a consequence, their cinema seems to be closer to English-language cinema and American remakes of them often come as a reward for their success. An example is Ben X (2007), in which a bullied teenager tries to escape real life through online games. Other significant Flemish films include The Misfortunates (2009), which is about drugs, crimes and... riding a bike naked(!), and Bullhead (2011), which deals with a Limburg farm and a murder case...

In comparison, French-speakers in Belgium identify themselves to their country as a whole and less often to their linguistic community. French-language Belgian films lack means and money, and are less valorised. Being often documentaries or auteur films with a social side, they appear less "exotic" to Belgians (but maybe culturally enriching to foreigners). Some were made by the Dardenne brothers and received awards (e.g. The Child), but they may be depressing because they show the 'sad' side of Belgium.

Very clearly, over Belgian TV-channels people prefer French ones, which only promote French films. Yet, it is often the case that Belgian actors play in French films or that these films are co-produced by Belgium and shot in this country, for instance Nothing to Declare (2010), a comedy about a French and a Belgian custom man having a fight.

It is not true, however, that French-language Belgian films cannot leave their mark on the history of cinema. For example, an alien, Man Bites Dog (1992) is a disturbing comedy shot as a fake documentary depicting a serial killer who explains the art of killing people. Another one, The Eighth Day (1996) has as main character a man with Down's syndrome (some people may find similarities with Forest Gump...).

Now I suggest you go to the DVD store and order some nice Belgian film!

The "Wallirony"

Belgium is a small country and the French-speaking community (Wallonia and Brussels) represent hardly half of its population, but it can still be divided into areas that have their own features and stereotypes... A Flemish geography teacher in Etterbeek (a commune of Brussels) wanted to teach his pupils what the French-speaking community looked like. He drew a map of Wallonia and divided it in three zones: Wallifornia, Wallabama and Wallbania. These names were portmanteaux of Wallonia and respectively California, Alabama and Albania. The negative connotation of the last one made a lot of Albanians living in Belgium angry. The clumsy parallel made between the country and the "poor" areas of Wallonia was quite unfortunate. Although I don't really agree with this division, I will talk about each of these fictive regions of the French-speaking community, mainly because this article focuses on stereotypes. 

Wallifornia is the "rich" part of the community. It mainly includes Brussels, the Walloon Brabant and Namur (the capital of Wallonia). The common cliché depicts the inhabitants as being pretentious rich guys who drive fancy cars and tend to speak in a fake French accent, especially in Uccle (a commune of Brussels).
The word was adopted sarcastically in "Pope of the Dope", an electro song by Party Harder and the Subs, in which the leader appeared in a Saint Nicholas costume saying obnoxious things to kids.

As a matter of fact, Brussels is a bit different from Wallonia and people living there do not identify as Walloons. The capital stuck in the middle of Flanders is a "melting pot", a mix of Flemish, Walloon and foreign cultures, being considered as the "center of Europe" (it has the highest rate of immigrants and the most given birthname is Mohamed!). Brussels is a busy place and a lot of Walloons have gone to Brussels to study or to work. Some of them decided they were here to stay and others still commute every day, creating giant trafic jams. In general, people from Brussels like to make fun of Walloons, because they think Wallonia is a boring place where nothing happens and where people speak in a funny accent. Both regions actually have their accent, but more and more people from Brussels tend to speak a more standard French.

Next, Wallabama represents the forested area of Wallonia, mainly the Belgian Ardennes. It includes most of the Belgian Luxembourg, a Belgian province not to be confused with the Grand Duchy (where some Belgians go to find a job and pay less taxes(!)) and the southern part of Liège province. It is the least populated areas in Belgium. A lot of Belgians see it as the countryside and the cliché is to consider people from that place as peasants... 

 

The Belgian Ardennes

Finally, Wallbania is considered to be the "poor" side of Wallonia, which used to be industrialized with a lot of miners coming from abroad. Now these places are struck by a high rate of unemployment, because some industries had to close shop. 

This includes most Hainaut province, including Charleroi and Mons. Charleroi is called the "black country", because the inhabitants were coal miners and came home covered in black, it is often seen as the most polluted place in Belgium. Mons is a part of Belgium in which the culture and dialect is close to that of the "North" in France (where they speak "Ch'ti", a Picard dialect). 

Also the city of Liège can be added to this area, as Arcelor Mittal factories closed recently, making a lot of people unemployed. This city and its province have a very recognizeable accent, which is different from the rest of Wallonia. People with that accent sound as if they had a cold, because they are unable to produce nasal vowels. A significant figure of this city is Michel Daerden, a Minister and mayor of Ans (a commune of the province), known for speaking relatively slowly and being constantly drunk, who gained popularity in Wallonia (they called him "Papa") before passing away last year.

These parts of Wallonia are known for having a lot of immigrants. It is interesting to see that a lot of Italian families, offspring of invited labours, still live in Belgium and represent the majority of immigrated populations in Wallonia, while the rate is much lower in Flanders. For instance, the current Belgian Prime Minister, Elio Di Rupo (recognizable by his red bowtie), immigrated from Italy as a kid. He is also the first Prime Minister to be publically out of the closet...

Elio Di Rupo

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French fries are Belgian fries!

Let's get back to stereotypes and focus this time on how Wallonia and Brussels see themselves and the rest of the world...

A lot of people have taken for granted the fact that Wallonia and Brussels largely speak French, so that they should simply become a region of France. Actually, France and Belgium have a separate history. Wallonia used to be a mosaic of small realms and principalties. Later on, as both Flanders and Wallonia were part of the Netherlands, they decided to separate from it because they had a different religion (they were catholic and the Netherlands was protestant). A whole lot of Romance and Germanic dialects were spoken in the two areas. At some period, the whole country was a part of France, which made French the language of educated people. It was adopted by rich educated families of both sides, although in Wallonia most people spoke their dialect (in general, a Walloon dialect, but there are also Picard and Lorrain dialects). Later, Walloon kids were educated in French and it was forbidden to speak a dialect at school. This happened in all parts of France as well, but in Belgium, French was really a foreign language at first!

Oufti, quéne biesse! /oohf-TEA kayn be-YES/ 

"Damn, what an idiot!" in Walloon

A relevant cultural difference is the national beverage. In France, wine is the national alcohol, while in Belgium, people largely drink beers. Many beers (Orval, Chimay, Stella-Artois...) are brewed in Wallonia and famous worldwide. Some of them are made by trappist monks!

In general, Belgian French-speakers appear as more genuine and heartwarming to French people. Also, they recognize a Belgian humour, which distinguishes from the French humour in that Belgians like to joke about themselves and their accents, while French people like to make fun of other people and make themselves appear smart in doing that. This Belgian humility is probably due to the small size of the country and the obligation to share it with another community, while France is a big country, internationally known, which only has one official language (some people in France believe Belgians speak a language called... Belgian!). As a consequence, Belgians consider the French to be more arrogant and nervous, and they can't stand their chauvinism.

There has always been contact between French and Belgian people, like when labours were invited to work in both places. Also, a lot of French students come to study in Wallonia (to become speech therapists or vets), because French universities allow less students to register and universities are better considered in Belgium than in France. Many jokes were invented by French people to make fun of these foreign people who spoke French in a different accent, but the relationship between them has always been peaceful. The "Belgian jokes" (as they are called by French people) are basically about Belgian people being stupid (they are exactly the same ones as anti-blonde jokes). Also, the common cliché is that Belgians eat fries every day, because it's their national dish. By the way, a common mistake of English language is to say "French fries". Many Belgians and French people consider fries as being a purely Belgian dish, although a small part of France (called the "North") also has fries as a local dish. This is why Belgians are often pictured as fat people as well. The jokes are usually pronounced in an exagerated Brussels accent. As a reaction, some anti-French jokes also circulate in Belgium, depicting French people as arrogant. Here are examples of both:

Anti-Belgian jokes
Why did Belgians stop hunting ducks? Because they didn't manage to throw their dogs high enough.
What does a Belgian do when the bathtub is too hot? He wears oven mittens.
How do you make a Belgian go mad? Put him in a circular room and tell him you put fries in the corner.

Anti-French jokes
What is a Belgian? A French who studied.
How do you kill a French? Aim way higher than his head to shoot his superiority complex. 
Why are most French highways not lighted at night? Because French people think they are brilliant.

Finally, some people in France and Belgium, including the RWF (a marginal policital party in Belgium), would like Wallonia to be a French region. Yet, most people from both sides don't feel the need for this change and like Belgium as it stands.

I encourage you to post all of your favourite jokes below!