After a long post-winter period punctuated with rain, sleet and snow in April, flowers are finally blooming and the sun is shining... the ideal conditions to drink Maitrank!
Maitrank is an alcoholic appetiser from Arlon, in the Belgian province of Luxembourg. The territory used to be part of a greater Luxembourg duchy. The word "Maitrank" actually means "May drink" in Luxemburgish. Around Arlon, some people still use a Luxembourgish dialect, although they all speak French perfectly.
The drink is made of white wine from Moselle with a particular ingredient, sweet woodruff, which gives it a taste of hay honey and vanilla. It is a tiny flower with a sweet perfume. It grows in spring
but the flowers are not blooming when they're picked. In fact, recipes may vary from family to family but it's always served with a slice of orange.
Every year, a Maitrank festival takes place in Arlon, hosted by a "Maitrank Brotherood" (Belgians have brotherhoods for every nice thing!). This year, it is organised on Saturday 21th and Sunday 22nd May. Folkloric ceremonies, contests, visits and of course a first growth Maitrank-tasting session expect visitors in the centre.
Today was the start of the Week of Belgian Fries ("Semaine de la Frite") in Wallonia. For the fifth edition of this Walloon initiative, the goal is to highlight 150 places where you can actually eat "real" fries in the south of the country. You can find a list on their website, try them and tell us what you think!
They're worth a museum!
If you really want to know Belgian fries like the back of your hand, you can visit the only museum the world dedicated to them! The Frietmuseum is located in Bruges and can teach you a lot about Belgian fries and their history.
How can you make your own Belgian fries?
Here is an example of recipe that you could use...
1) Choose a more floury type of potato. Usually, Bintje or Nicolas potatoes are being used in Belgium.
2) If you really want to do it the traditional way, use unrefined beef fat ("Blanc de Boeuf"). But you can also use any other oil if you prefer it.
3) After washing the potatoes and peeling them, make sure you chop the potatoes in fries as thick as 1 cm (0,4 inches).
4) Don't rince them again, as it could reduce their taste considerably. Then, dry them a maximum with a towel.
5) You have to pre-cook your fries to make sure the inside of the potato is edible. The oil has to be as hot as 160°C (320°F) and it usually takes around 5 minutes. If you're not sure, you can try to break one of the fries with your fingers, if it's almost immediate, they're ready.
6) The next step is to allow them to cool down for a while (maybe half an hour). At this step, if you feel like you have too much, you can keep them in a box in your freezer so you can cook them later!
7) Finally, cook your fries at around 170-180°C (340-355°F) to actually fry them, making them crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, and with an orange colour, around 2 or 3 minutes.
8) Put them in a bowl with a tissue and shake them up and down to make sure you get rid of a maximum of oil.
If you want to look authentic, place them in a papercone or a cardboard tray, with mayonnaise of course! Serve them hot!
When looking at a map of Northeastern Wisconsin, a few village names could sound familiar to most Belgians, like Brussels, Namur, Champion, Pepin, Rosiere... In the counties of Kewaunee, Door and Brown (Green Bay), there are still a few who carry the language and traditions of their Walloon ancestors. As promised earlier, let's talk about the Walloon community in the United States.
In 1852, many Walloons started emigrating
on boats from Belgium because they weren't happy about the monarchy and
were hoping for a better life. Yet, the timing was bad because the American civil war started a few years later and Walloons, who often couldn't even
speak English, were enrolled as soldiers in the war. Other unfortunate events, such as famine or poor climate conditions, punctuated the life of Walloons in the region. Nevertheless, these people were able to maintain cultural bond with Belgium for generations to come.
Preserving a dying culture...
Today, some elderly people still speak Walloon casually, although it is almost extinct in the region, due to centuries of forced assimilation to the English language and a general lack of interest from younger generations. As most settlers came from Hesbaye and Brabant (Gembloux, Wavre, Jodoigne, etc.), the dialect spoken is Central Walloon. After 150 years, some "walloonised" English loanwords were integrated, such as "cåler" for "to call" ("å" is pronounced "aw"), but the language has remained very pure and understandable for Walloon speakers, conserving some features such as the rolled R (unlike most Belgian Walloon pronunciations nowadays).
Every year in July, Belgian Days are celebrated in
Brussels, Wisconsin (Door County). The village has the largest Belgian settlement in
the United States and the Walloon heritage is
probably the strongest in the county. The festival is the occasion for these people to promote traditional dishes, such as Belgian trippes, pies, broth and others. Walloon settlers are known to have brought along their Catholic Church, a sense of family and fellowship, and solid agricultural knowledge. Nonetheless, the climate and landscape were very different to those in Belgium, so that inhabitants had to cope with cold temperature and build themselves log cabins, inspired by those of local natives.
It is not unusual that people there still keep contact with their Belgian cousins and come to visit the
place their ancestors came from. Some of them fight in Belgium as soldiers sent from the US during World War II (imagine the locals' surprise when they heard an American GI speak Walloon!). On July 2nd 1975, members of Belgian and American Walloon communities gathered in Green Bay to celebrate "Belgians' Day" with speeches in English, French and Walloon. In addition, a book called Les Wallons du Wisconsin recently raised the interests of Belgians and Wisconsinians. It was written by two Belgian authors (F. Lempereur and X. Istasse) who travelled to Wisconsin several years ago, documenting Walloon settlements in the region and recording their testimonies.
Yesterday evening was the 22nd edition of Nocturne des Coteaux de la Citadelle, an annual event in Liège that started in 1994. Candles were set on different places and various events were organised to highlight a part of the city usually discrete but nonetheless amazing spots!
Most people in Liège know the city centre with Place Saint-Lambert, its station and its shops (H&M, Fnac, Inno and others). Closeby remains a more silent and old historical district, where a number of monuments and green spaces can be visited without feeling oppressed as a tourist. There are also traditional bakeries where you can find exquisite pastries and local waffles for cheap prices.
Gentle giant in the area, a hill overlooks the city and hosts a nice, authentic quarter, (les) Pierreuses. The place is hidden behind the city centre and is harder to access because it is on a slope. Old romantic half-timbered houses welcome the few curious passerbys. Pierreuses have their culture and their people, usually known to be more open-minded, artistic and have their sense of humour and community.
In the middle of Pierreuses, a door gives a free of access to a local farm with kitchen gardens and cattle. It offers people with less opportunities a chance to be included in society by working there. In there, you haven't even left the big crowded city of Liège but you really ARE in the countryside!
If you get to the top of the hill following the way from Pierreuses, you will arrive at (les) Coteaux (de la Citadelle), a high point offering the best of the views on the whole city. You can use that place for endless talks with loved ones under starry skies (if you have a lot of things to tell them!). When you're done, you can go back to the centre by using the so-called "mountain" of Bueren, probably one of the longest staircases in the world...
Each year, on 3rd October, this part of the "ardent city", nickname of Liège, gets lit up with over 22,000 candles. Events such as free concerts and theatrical performances are organised, drinks and food are available and the whole place looks a little more romantic. It's the time of the year where the city reveals and animates its hidden parts and some places usually closed to public provide free access to their courtyards and gardens, also full of candles. The whole events takes an end with fireworks at 11.30pm in Parc Saint-Léonard.
Don't be afraid to visit the historical district of Liège at any time of the year! You can also join two upcoming events in the area: on 9th May, the Coteaux area celebrates Spring with various events including concerts, food/wine tasting and games, and on the last Sunday of June is a guided tour through hidden gardens and other places.
And if you're still going to Liège right now, have some money to spend and are not afraid of rollercoasters and cholesterol(!), you can also go to the October Funfair set for a whole month on Bouvelard d'Avroy... and ask for laquements and croustillons!
"Nonante", "septante"... these are some famous Belgicisms that foreigners learn when they visit the country to speak French. But the difference is also in the accent, or the accents even, because depending on the region you come from, you might get one of the specific local accents. Check out a recent YouTube video to listen to samples of people speaking French in various Belgian accents. Another video will show you the variety of local dialects and languages of Wallonia!
Ten examples of Belgian accents in French
1) Flemish accent (okay the speaker's accent is very slight!)
2) Brussels accent (actually an exagerated drunk version of it!)
3) Brussels-Walloon accent, a sort of "norm" in Francophone Belgium
4) Belgian Picard accent (similar to a Northern French accent)
5) Charleroi accent
6) Namur accent
7) Liège accent (very particular tone)
8) Verviers accent (the one where nasal vowels are not nasal, actually this accent is also heard in Liège)
9) Belgian German-speaker accent
This list is non-exhaustive, because there are as many accents and gradations of them as there are cities and social classes in Belgium (e.g. there is a posh Brussels-Brabant accent!).
Ten languages/dialects spoken in the Walloon region
Romance languages:
1) Eastern Walloon dialect (Liège)
2) Central Walloon dialect (Namur)
3) Walloon-Picard (West): a transition with the neighbouring Picard dialects
4) Walloon-Lorrain (South): also a transition, but with Lorrain this time
5) Lorrain (Gaume): this Lorrain dialect is spoken in the extreme South of Belgium
6) Picard: very similar to Picard or Ch'ti spoken in France
7) Champenois: a very small area in the South-West speaks a dialect similar to that in Champagne
Germanic languages:
1) Moselle Franconian (or Luxembourgish)
2) Ripuarian (similar to what is spoken in Cologne)
3) Platdiets or Limburgish-Ripuarian (a dialect with mixed German-Dutch influences)
The
(double) item of this week consists of two famous puppets from Liège:
Tchantchès and Nanesse... They are a must-see if you want to understand the
culture of the city. The two characters are usually encountered as marionettes
or giant puppets carried by people at folk parades. People in Liège love them
and probably every kid in Liège has already enjoyed a marionette play in the
Outremeuse district. Tchantchès symbolises the typical Liège chap, but nobody
is really sure of what his name means. Some say Tchantchès is a diminutive of
Françwès, i.e. "Francis" in Walloon dialect, but others prefer to see
it as an ancient diminutive Djan (John) via Dutch "Jantje" (little
John).
Tchantchès is a legendary character who is said to be born in Outremeuse, a
district of Liège in the middle Ages. The name "Outremeuse" means
that if you come from the centre of Liège and the district is "beyond the Meuse (river)". In his stories, he is a close friend
of Charles the Great and always defends him against enemies in big battles. His
favourite way of fighting is by head butting his opponent. He is the
representation of the traditional personality of Liège people, because he is
said to be impertinent, courageous and loyal to his friends. Finally, his big
red nose gives away that he is a big lover of pèkèt, the local jenever drink.
Tchantchès, Nanesse and Charles the Great
Represented with a red scarf around the neck, a black cap, and a blue work
coat, Tchantchès wears the typical working-class outfit from the end of the
19th century, and it is believed that it was the time when the puppet was
invented in a local theatre. He also has a wife, Nanesse (Agnes in English), a basket
carrier, who, although being full of integrity and a gentle character, is also
strong and strict to her husband and likes hitting him with a frying pan when
she gets angry.
A parade in Liège with the giant puppets
Today, Tchantchès and Nanesse are famous for their puppets (or marionettes),
which appear whether in theatres or as giants for a parade every year on 15th
August in Outremeuse. The marionettes are particular in that they are made of
around 8-10 pieces of wood, iron strings and cloth. The scenarios of the plays
were usually written during the 19th century and re-enact medieval
"chansons de geste". Only one rod is used to manipulate the puppet,
which only allows limited and awkward body moves. This gives a funny touch to
the plays, especially when characters are fighting. The play is ideal for
younger kids, because the puppets discuss and interact with the audience, make
jokes and ask them for advices... All I can say is kids love it and I loved it
as a kid.
I got the idea to launch a new section in this blog: the Item of the Week, where I will introduce you to a typical Belgian object and I will (try to) do it every week. This week, a light-blue pot you can get in any supermarket in Belgium and it comes from my city... Liège!
Le Sirop de Liège (or Liège syrup) is made of evaporated fruit juices, mostly apple and pear ones, and is a traditional spread from the province of Liège (mostly the city of Herve). It is dark-brown and has a sort of unexpected taste. Unlike peanut butter or nutella, you wouldn't like to put it on a spoon and eat it like that, but rather on bread at least. Personally, I love it on white cheese in a sandwich, because it gives all the sweet taste, without being too sugary.
More importantly, it is also used in the preparation of the Boulet à la Liégeoise, one of the most famous (Liège waffle excluded...) dishes of the province. We use it to make the sauce (mixed with fruits and onions) which will accompany pork-beaf meatballs and fries. After it, you will feel filled up!
After talking to Dutch people, I realised they had the same kind of spread, which they call Appelstroop (Apple Syrup), but it is not quite the same, because they don't use any pear juice in it.
K's Choice, Hooverphonic, Selah Sue, The Magician, Netsky, dEUS... A lot of Flemish bands and solo artists have gotten very popular in the whole country and even internationally. On the other side of the language border, a lot of nice bands have been playing too, but some of them have recently complained about their weak representation in the Belgian media and their lack of budget... Apparently, it isless easy to get famous and advertised inFlanders when you're a French speaker, even when you sing in English. Let's examine the situation and give you some nice music videos of the French-speaking community!
The truth is, singers and groups from Wallonia and Brussels find it particularly difficult to establish themselves in Flanders, especially if they sing in French. Some share the exact same label as Flemish bands who sing in English and are famous in the whole country, but their success is much weaker. It's a pity, because a bunch of them could benefit from being a little more famous, like Great Mountain Fire.
Great Mountain Fire - Late Lights
The problem is that if you want to get famous in your whole country, you first need to be famous in your own community... And here the problem comes from customers and radio listeners. Artists have noticed that the French-speaking public wasn't as curious as the Flemish one could be, probably because the latter is more influenced by a more diversified Anglo-Saxon culture. Walloons would rather listen to famous French or international artists than their own ones, which have a smaller budget. This explains why originally "indie rock" radio PureFM has now turned into mainly a mainstream broadcaster, favouring Pharrell Williams over Soldout, for instance, an electro-rock band from Brussels.
Soldout - 94
By contrast, Flemish people have a certain degree of pride for their own culture and they feel that they need to protect it. As a consequence, Flemish artists are more often considered as celebrities in Flanders than Walloon artists in Wallonia. French-speaking bands usually need to be really good on stage to rely on the word-of-mouth process to get famous, rather than the national media. That kind of thing happens with bands such as the fancy rockers from Piano Club.
Piano Club - Love Hurts
A lot of bands have already toured in Wallonia and France with a lot of venues, probably because their cultures are closer. But it's in vain that they try to be famous in Flanders. Some have been into business for some time now and most of them actually sing in English. However, they still suffer from being French speakers when they tour in Flanders, as they get smaller crowds and venues. People might say it is because they still have a French accent and their lyrics are so-so, and it might be an obstacle for an intercommunity success indeed. This doesn't seem to be the case for a band like BRNS (from Brussels - it's pronounced "brains"), which has been recently building its success in English.
BRNS - Mexico
Some Walloon/Brussels bands only sing in French, perhaps because it's what they can do best. Examples include Eté 67, which was more famous in the 2000s, or more recently Suarez, who has become very popular in the French community (the singer is in the jury of The Voice Belgium, French version), with its musicians from Madagascar. Yet, these bands are not famous at all in Flanders, which is strange, because, as said in that blog post, Flemish singers who sing in French while it's not their mother tongue (Axelle Red, dEUS, Vive la Fête, Arno...) are praised in the whole country!...
Suarez - Qu'est-ce que j'aime ça
Is there a particular resentment from Flanders towards French-speaking Belgian artists? In general, there is very little room for these in the playlists of famous Flemish radios like Studio Brussel, which rather prefers international and Flemish artists. In fact, the only way to get famous in Flanders is to find fame in some other non-French-speaking countries and to come back here with a nice reputation. See the case of Stromae, a French-speaking singer that Flemish people seem to love, as well as the rest of Europe. And he only sings in French...
Have you heard of any other artist from Wallonia or Brussels? Don't be afraid to share them in a comment!
A rough but moving humour, surrealism and royalty, those are some features that probably build Belgian culture and may be reflected in the national cinema. Yet, if you don't know about it, you will have a hard time trying to find common features between all films produced in this country. This intricacy is due to a cultural difference between Flemish and French-speakers, once again! In fact, each linguistic community's vision of itself is reflected on how they make and watch films.
Flemish people tend to watch less often Dutch channels, favouring their own Flemish ones, which promote local films and make them proud of their community. An example of the way Flemish film-makers tell the world about their own history is 1992 film Daens, which deals with the misery side of Flanders during industrialisation time and the hand given by local bishop Daens, who created the Christian Socialist party.
Also, Flemish film-makers try to make films that can be easily exported. As a consequence, their cinema seems to be closer to English-language cinema and American remakes of them often come as a reward for their success. An example is Ben X (2007), in which a bullied teenager tries to escape real life through online games. Other significant Flemish films include The Misfortunates (2009), which is about drugs, crimes and... riding a bike naked(!), and Bullhead (2011), which deals with a Limburg farm and a murder case...
In comparison, French-speakers in Belgium identify themselves to their country as a whole and less often to their linguistic community. French-language Belgian films lack means and money, and are less valorised. Being often documentaries or auteur films with a social side, they appear less "exotic" to Belgians (but maybe culturally enriching to foreigners). Some were made by the Dardenne brothers and received awards (e.g. The Child), but they may be depressing because they show the 'sad' side of Belgium.
Very clearly, over Belgian TV-channels people prefer French ones, which only promote French films. Yet, it is often the case that Belgian actors play in French films or that these films are co-produced by Belgium and shot in this country, for instance Nothing to Declare (2010), a comedy about a French and a Belgian custom man having a fight.
It is not true, however, that French-language Belgian films cannot leave their mark on the history of cinema. For example, an alien, Man Bites Dog (1992) is a disturbing comedy shot as a fake documentary depicting a serial killer who explains the art of killing people. Another one, The Eighth Day (1996) has as main character a man with Down's syndrome (some people may find similarities with Forest Gump...).
Now I suggest you go to the DVD store and order some nice Belgian film!
Belgium
is a small country and the French-speaking community (Wallonia and
Brussels) represent hardly half of its population, but it can still be
divided into areas that have their own features and stereotypes... A
Flemish geography teacher in Etterbeek (a commune of Brussels) wanted
to teach his pupils what the French-speaking community looked like. He drew
a map of Wallonia and divided it in three zones: Wallifornia,
Wallabama and Wallbania. These names were portmanteaux of Wallonia and
respectively California, Alabama and Albania. The negative connotation
of the last one made a lot of Albanians living in Belgium angry. The clumsy
parallel made between the country and the "poor" areas of Wallonia was
quite unfortunate. Although I don't really agree with this division, I
will talk about each of these fictive regions of the French-speaking
community, mainly because this article focuses on stereotypes. Wallifornia
is the "rich" part of the community. It mainly includes Brussels, the
Walloon Brabant and Namur (the capital of Wallonia). The common cliché
depicts the inhabitants as being pretentious rich guys who drive fancy
cars and tend to speak in a fake French accent, especially in Uccle (a
commune of Brussels). The
word was adopted sarcastically in "Pope of the Dope", an electro song
by Party Harder and the Subs, in which the leader appeared in a Saint
Nicholas costume saying obnoxious things to kids.
As
a matter of fact, Brussels is a bit different from Wallonia and people
living there do not identify as Walloons. The capital stuck in the
middle of Flanders is a "melting pot", a mix of Flemish, Walloon and
foreign cultures, being considered as the "center of Europe" (it has the
highest rate of immigrants and the most given birthname is Mohamed!).
Brussels is a busy place and a lot of Walloons have gone
to Brussels to study or to work. Some of them decided they were here to stay and
others still commute every day, creating giant trafic jams. In general,
people from Brussels like to make
fun of Walloons, because they think Wallonia is a boring place where
nothing happens and where people speak in a funny accent. Both regions
actually have their accent, but more and more people from Brussels
tend to speak a more standard French.
Next, Wallabama
represents the forested area of Wallonia, mainly the Belgian Ardennes.
It includes most of the Belgian Luxembourg, a Belgian province not to
be confused with the Grand Duchy (where some Belgians go to find a job and pay less taxes(!)) and the southern part of Liège province. It
is the least populated areas in Belgium. A lot of Belgians see it as the countryside and the cliché is to consider people from that place as peasants...
The Belgian Ardennes
Finally, Wallbania
is considered to be the "poor" side of Wallonia, which used to be
industrialized with a lot of miners coming from abroad. Now these places
are struck by a high rate of unemployment, because some industries had
to close shop.
This
includes most Hainaut province, including Charleroi and Mons. Charleroi
is called the "black country", because the inhabitants were coal
miners and came home covered in black, it is often seen as the most
polluted place in Belgium. Mons is a part of Belgium in which the
culture and dialect is close to that of the "North" in France
(where they speak "Ch'ti", a Picard dialect).
Also
the city of Liège can be added to this area, as Arcelor Mittal
factories closed recently, making a lot of people unemployed. This city
and its province have a very recognizeable accent, which is different
from the rest of Wallonia. People with that accent sound as if they had
a cold, because they are unable to produce nasal vowels. A significant
figure of this city is Michel Daerden, a Minister and mayor of Ans (a
commune of the province), known for speaking relatively slowly and being
constantly drunk, who gained popularity in Wallonia (they called him
"Papa") before passing away last year.
These
parts of Wallonia are known for having a lot of immigrants. It is
interesting to see that a lot of Italian families, offspring of invited
labours, still live in Belgium and represent the majority of immigrated populations in Wallonia, while the rate is much lower in Flanders.
For instance, the current Belgian Prime Minister, Elio Di Rupo (recognizable by his red bowtie), immigrated from Italy as a kid. He
is also the first Prime Minister to be publically out of the closet...
Let's get back to stereotypes and focus this time on how Wallonia and Brussels see themselves and the rest of the world...
A lot of people have taken for granted the fact that Wallonia and Brussels largely speak French, so that they should simply become a region of France. Actually, France and Belgium have a separate history. Wallonia used to be a mosaic of small realms and principalties. Later on, as both Flanders and Wallonia were part of the Netherlands, they decided to separate from it because they had a different religion (they were catholic and the Netherlands was protestant). A whole lot of Romance and Germanic dialects were spoken in the two areas. At some period, the whole country was a part of France, which made French the language of educated people. It was adopted by rich educated families of both sides, although in Wallonia most people spoke their dialect (in general, a Walloon dialect, but there are also Picard and Lorrain dialects). Later, Walloon kids were educated in French and it was forbidden to speak a dialect at school. This happened in all parts of France as well, but in Belgium, French was really a foreign language at first!
Oufti, quéne biesse! /oohf-TEA kayn be-YES/
"Damn, what an idiot!" in Walloon
A relevant cultural difference is the national beverage. In France, wine is the national alcohol, while in Belgium, people largely drink beers. Many beers
(Orval, Chimay, Stella-Artois...) are brewed in Wallonia and famous worldwide. Some of them are made by trappist monks!
In general, Belgian French-speakers
appear as more genuine and heartwarming to French people. Also, they recognize a Belgian humour, which distinguishes from the French humour in that Belgians like to joke about themselves and their accents, while French people like to make fun of other people and make themselves appear smart in doing that. This Belgian humility is probably due to the small size of the country and the obligation to share it with another community, while France is a big country, internationally known, which only has one official language (some people in France believe Belgians speak a language called... Belgian!). As a consequence, Belgians consider the French to be more arrogant and nervous, and they can't stand their chauvinism.
There has always been contact between French and Belgian people, like when labours were invited to work in both places. Also, a lot of French
students come to study in Wallonia (to become speech therapists or
vets), because French universities allow less students to register and
universities are better considered in Belgium than in France. Many jokes were invented by French people to make fun of these foreign people who spoke French in a different accent, but the relationship between them has always been peaceful. The "Belgian jokes" (as they are called by French people) are basically about Belgian people being stupid (they are exactly the same ones as anti-blonde jokes). Also, the common cliché is that Belgians eat fries every day, because it's their national dish. By the way, a common mistake of English language is to say "French fries". Many Belgians and French people consider fries as being a purely Belgian dish, although a small part of France (called the "North") also has fries as a local dish. This is why Belgians are often pictured as fat people as well. The jokes are usually pronounced in an exagerated Brussels accent. As a reaction, some anti-French jokes also circulate in Belgium, depicting French people as arrogant. Here are examples of both:
Anti-Belgian jokes Why did Belgians stop hunting ducks? Because they didn't manage to throw their dogs high enough. What does a Belgian do when the bathtub is too hot? He wears oven mittens. How do you make a Belgian go mad? Put him in a circular room and tell him you put fries in the corner.
Anti-French jokes What is a Belgian? A French who studied. How do you kill a French? Aim way higher than his head to shoot his superiority complex. Why are most French highways not lighted at night? Because French people think they are brilliant.
Finally, some people in France and Belgium, including the RWF (a marginal policital party in Belgium), would like Wallonia to be a French region. Yet, most people from both sides don't feel the need for this change and like Belgium as it stands.
I encourage you to post all of your favourite jokes below!
A lot of foreigners will be surprised when getting to know Belgians a little better. The separation between Flemish and Walloons is not only linguistic, but also kissistic.
Maybe it is because French is naturally the language of love, as described in Amy Walker's video (a Youtube comedian), "so you can remember... French kiss!" Indeed, French give that special kiss on the cheek, which isn't actually a kiss because your lips are not supposed to touch the other person's cheek, otherwise it would be all wet, which is disgusting. Therefore it doesn't have the name "kiss" (bisou or baiser) in French but a separate one (simply bise), because it's quite awkward. This bise is repeated four times in Paris, three times in Italy and only once in Belgium, and while it's considered as a female behavior in France, it's quite natural for men to bise other men here. But hey, wait. I was talking about the part that speaks French! En effet!
This is the actual way to do it.
The Flemish hardly ever give a kiss on the cheek, except with very close relatives, like Aunt Margriet, who likes receiving a kiss from her nephew who "is growing up so fast!" So while Belgian French speakers bise once to say "salut, ça va ?" (hi, doing good?) and once to say goodbye, the Flemish just wave their hand or give a handshake to say hello and say "daag" (g'day) waving again their hand when they leave, because it saves time! (Maybe that's why they're so productive...).
The confrontation between two unaware specimens can be quite funny (even if they both speak English... or French, which is quite often the case), because one will say hello, the other one will lean forward to bise and nothing will happen. Then the French speaker will insist and the Flemish will say "ehm... I said hello" (thinking the other one is just pricking their ears up) or "have you lost something?" (thinking they're looking at the ground). For this reason, French speakers will depict their neighbours as cold while Flemish will probably think that French speakers are awkward kissomaniacs. Qui sait?
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